Love Is In the Air…Or Not
Read on to surprise someone with your newfound romantic knowledge!
Valentine’s Day. Yick! Truly the holiday invented by people who make money off greeting cards and chocolates. And way to make millions of people in the world feel left out. Never liked it. It felt like there was an “in club” and I was out. Or if it happened to be one of those years when I was “in,” what about all the people who were not?
For years, my husband and I threw an “Anti-Valentine’s Party” that featured an anatomically correct gelatin heart on a platter. We would provide plenty of good food and guests brought a bottle of wine or a (more appetizing) dessert. We invited everyone we knew: old, young, single, partnered. It was a “spread the love” kind of occasion with a lot of red wine to warm hearts on a chilly February night. The party was never over until someone dared to taste the Jello heart. Usually it was a kid on a dare.
I continue to cherish and celebrate this idea of many kinds of love expressed in various forms. We tend to idolize romantic love (and I have to admit it’s special) but there are so MANY kinds: parent-child love, life-long friends, love for a grandparent, even your neighbor bringing a casserole when your whole house has the flu is a form of love. I watched my daughter pick particular valentine cards for each child in her class this year with real interest: the care she took seemed to say “We are all in this together, and you matter to me. And I think I know which card YOU would like best.”
So, while I’m not a big fan of a holiday that appears to leave half the population out at any given time, those who DO happen to be in an active romance don’t always happen to love it either. How many times have a heard a client say, ” I want to be romantic, but I’m clueless. I don’t even know where to start.” Here are three simple steps if you find yourself in that situation.
- Be observant. Know your partner. Make note of all their interests and quirks, especially any particular likes and dislikes.
- Make your partner aware that you know these things about them by doing something that makes it obvious.
- Once in a while, make a really big deal on behalf of your partner. Create a special occasion for no reason other than the person you love deserves a special occasion once in a while. Or mark an obviously special occasion like an anniversary or a birthday in ways that are particularly meaningful to your particular loved one.
- Red roses purchased from the gas station because you didn’t know what else to do, but knew your were supposed to “do something”
- The box of assorted “mixed chocolates” that contains mostly the candies your loved one takes one bite of and politely places back in the brown crinkly wrapper
- Pack a picnic with your partner’s favorite foods and take linens and candles. Set up the table at a place with a view. Pick up your loved one from work and suggest taking a short hike to walk off the workday stress and wind down together. Surprise them with the picnic as the sun begins to set.
- Learn something new that your partner would value doing together. Doing new things keeps the excitement alive! Leave your loved one a hand-written note about looking forward to this activity with them or about how much you enjoyed it afterward.