Healthy Boundaries

A confident “no” is more respectful than an apprehensive “yes.”

Resentful, frustrated, and disappointed…

That’s how we end up feeling when we say “yes” when we mean “no,” or we say “yes” without checking in with ourselves first.

Yesterday, you bought two boxes of doughnuts from that kid selling for Scouts… even though your whole household is gluten-free! Now, you feel resentful, wondering what you will do with them.

Sometimes, we say “yes” because we don’t want others disappointed. Instead, YOU end up disappointed.

But they don’t know that because you either avoid them or shy away from sharing your true feelings.

You’d love to be assertive, but…

You don’t want to come across as rude.

And the possibility of hurting someone’s feelings is too much.

The result?

You’re doing too much, and no one seems to notice. Or they do, but they never volunteer to take anything off your plate. Sometimes, they don’t even seem to appreciate it.

When we do things we don’t want to do just to be nice to someone else, we eventually set ourselves up to explode. That’s because our needs matter. You will feel frustrated if you only focus on what others need.

Something has to change.

You’re kind and generous, so you want to please others. You can live out those values while remaining true to yourself. I’ll show you how.

In therapy, you’ll also get to practice assertiveness. Here, you can say how you feel and ask for what you need. You can also say “no” to things that don’t work for you. Being assertive is a commitment to yourself so that you don’t end up feeling frustrated, disappointed, and resentful.

Only you know your needs, so you must let others know what they are. Think about it: If you told someone you would do something for them despite being upset, very few people would say, “Well, I want you to do it anyway.”

When others know what you need, they can respond to you from a place of understanding and connection.

This is challenging work, but you can do it!

Most people are hesitant to start and are initially uncomfortable voicing their true feelings.

But I’ll be there to encourage you, support you as you practice, and celebrate your every accomplishment.

Don’t let unexpressed emotions ruin your relationships and your sanity!

Become the badass you were meant to be! Take the first step and call today for a free 15-minute consultation: (704) 741-0692.